Several weeks ago I have felt a little askew. I would just come home and dread having to do all that needed to be done ie: laundry, cleaning, dinner, dishes, feed Judah, bathe Judah...the list goes on and on!!! It was almost like I was bitter about it all. Like hello Lord, I need some help here; I can't balance it all! It's not even like Justin wasn't helping because he was, all I could focus on were the things that I needed to complete and how I felt like I couldn't rest and even when I wanted to rest. I wanted a tidy home and couldn't relax until it was that way. If I asked Justin to do something and it didn't get done by the time I came home, the first words out of my mouth would be "why didn't you do this?", not "Hey babe, how was your day?".
I know part of it was I wasn't spending time in the Word and with the Lord like I should have been. To me, that was just one more chore to add to my list and if the other things didn't get finished neither would it. (sad, but true) I finally decided to pick up a book that was given to me SEVERAL months ago. It's a small devotion book for mothers. Has it ever hit home! I have come to a new realization that I need to do things as if they were for the Lord. (1 Cor. 10:31) Including changing dirty diapers!!
Before it was like I was doing all the chores around the house while murmuring and hating every minute of it and not feeling appreciated at all. Now, had I asked Justin for help, he would have gladly done it, but no, I had to do it ALL myself and I did it and with a hard heart. I mean really, who wants to be around that?! Can we say control freak? I think part of this stems from being a partial perfectionist and a bit of post-pardon hormones. I have also come to the realization that the house doesn't have to be perfect and to just relax and spend time with my family because that is what matters most. If I stay so busy, **Cough**Martha, then I will miss out on golden moments in my life.
So attitude check yourself. Is everything that comes out of your mouth negative? Do you really want to be THAT draining person who can't find anything good to say? I don't. While I may not have time for an hour-long devotion, I have decided to find God in all the small things that I do daily. While cleaning the dishes I thank God for wiping clean all the sin from my life, while feeling Judah I thank God that He supplies our every need, while making the bed I thank God that HE is my resting place, while cleaning the house, I thank God that He knows everything about me...all my nooks and crannies. While it sounds a bit cheesy, it's so easy to find God in all that you do. Try it, you might like it!
4 comments:
I like how the ways you're thinking about God corresponds with what you're doing. Cool idea!
I have felt the same way lately, every little thing you said I have been feeling and it has been just awful!! I think post-baby hormones play a big part, nothing wanting to get back to normal. I have been praying for help to get out of this low! I will think about what you said while doing all those daily chores!
Hey! So, here is what I think. It is TOTALLY normal to take it slow/baby him in this and most areas. He is your first. I was the same way with Parker. Second of all, I wouldn't stress over it. Give him what he likes. If he gags over meat or whatever give him something else. You might want to gradually give him "harder" things to chew but I wouldn't push it if he doesn't love it. The reason I started with Micah is because I was spending an extra $20/week on baby food when he could have been eating what Parker was eating. Judah is your first. Enjoy it, baby him as long as it doesn't create a bad habit, and love on him. Because one day you will have more than one and your focus won't be on baby-ing necessarily. Some days it will be on making it through the day. :) Hope this helps!
Love you girl!
Lindsey
Oh yeah...just fyi. I nurse Micah 4 times a day and I will do that until I start weaning him at around 11 months. But I do give him one to two snacks a day. He always gets an afternoon snack after the afternoon bottle. Sometimes a morning snack, but he is usually napping during the time I would give him one. You might already do this. Just thought I would let you know what I do.
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