Winter Furnace-land

I wasn't quite sure what to blog about today, so I opted to vent about how much it does NOT feel like Christmas here in furnace-land.

I sit here with a sleeveless shirt, skirt with no tights and am burning up. It's going to be a high of 86 degrees. Tomorrow will be December 1st and I swear you would think it's going to be September 1st.

*Sigh*

I have never been in a REAL winter wonderland for the holidays, but at least in Tennessee and Georgia it was "sweater weather" or "light coat" weather. This hotness really makes things like decorating for Christmas feel very strange and early...maybe that's why our lights are not on our house yet...hmmm.

Well, I'm sure that the onset of Holiday parties will begin to put me in the mood since i practically missed Thanksgiving due to being sick. I mean really, who gets a stomach bug on Thanksgiving. MISERABLE. Anywho...Parties...I am looking forward to seeing more lights and trees and hearing more Christmas music and dressing up for some parties. I enjoy an excuse to get my "holiday cute" on and to sit around with people I enjoy being around and eating...eating lots.

We did decorate our Christmas tree on Sunday night, which our friends have affectionately named, "anorexic" because it's so chic and skinny. (What can i say, we have a small house, besides, i like our anorexic tree!) This time, we got Judah to help us. He loved it! Mommy unwrapped the ornaments and gave them to Judah and Judah gave to Daddy to hang on the tree. We let him hang a few too. It was GREAT fun! This Christmas is going to be so much fun. I am really looking forward to him discovering all the wonder that Christmas holds.

Everyone keeps asking us what we are going to do with Christmas and Judah. It seems that there are so many alternatives depending on what you want to reveal to your kids. Most importantly we are going to share the real meaning of Christmas with Christ at the center of all that we do. Yes, we are doing SANTA, but not going overboard with it. Honestly, he doesn't have a clue who he is. I kept pointing him out when looking at the ornaments and all he said was "Snowman". LOL. Growing up my family didn't celebrate Santa, but Justin's did. WE want Judah to experience it. We have decided that Judah will only get 3 gifts for Christmas from us. We figure that Jesus the new born King got 3 and it was a-plenty! We also think it will help keep things under control as the years go by. I know the grandparents will overwhelm him with gifts, so trust me, he will not be lacking in the gift arena. Not to mention, his birthday is 2 weeks after Christmas. In the future i would like us to implement "The Jesse Tree". We celebrate Advent at our church and this is a way to bring it to our home and make it a visual thing. Our neighbor introduced me to it. (http://www.crivoice.org/jesse.html) I'm not sure what other traditions we will include. I would love to hear what you and your families do. I want it to be a tradition filled time of year for us.

I want to make a difference...

Lately I have had this overwhelming feeling of blah. I'm not sure how else to explain it. I am beginning to wonder..."Am I making a difference?" I read so many blogs by pastor's wives and they are speaking and encouraging other women. I am so uplifted by them, but then I wonder..."What am I doing?". Am I merely existing? If I'm being completely honest, there are times that i feel so much pressure as a "Pastor's wife". It's weird for me to even say that phrase. That phrase holds so much responsibility.
I know there are times that I put the pressure on myself. I constantly feel like I'm being watched, that my every word is being recorded and that how I react can cause a chain reaction. WOW. Just writing all of that makes me nervous. I am NOT perfect, nor do I claim to be. There HAVE been times when I say something I shouldn't and yes, I'm sure my facial responses have been less than "politically correct" in certain situations.
Maybe, just maybe I am making a difference regardless of these things. ??? I am really trying to let my guard down and connect with our teens, other couples and members of my church. I don't think I've ever NOT been myself, but maybe I have just displayed a more "reserved Julie".
Maybe, just maybe, me being open about my feelings on this blog are making a difference. ??? I am pretty transparent on here. I've talked about what others are afraid to talk about. I figure, if I'm going through something, surely there are others out there feeling the same way. It's funny. I find myself able to be more open in written words than spoken. Hmmm....
I want to make a difference. I want God to use me. I want to be a vessel for Him. I pray my flesh won't get in the way and that I will seek Him with wreckless abandonment to fulfill the call HE has placed on my life.