Well Happy New Year. I'm not sure who still reads this blog, but my blog, I've found has given me an outlet to SO many inspirational blogs. Blogs about Design and blogs about "Preacher's Wives." People who I don't know but feel somehow connected to. Weird.
With this year, I have a lot going through my mind.
First of all I'm back to work, Full - FULL time. For the first year of Judah's life I was blessed enough to stay home with him every Wednesday, careful to keep my hours at 30 per week which is still considered full time since I am the insurance provider for our family. It was bliss. Then this past year I thoroughly enjoyed working 7 hour days. Coming in at 8:30 and leaving at 4:00 to pick up my favorite little boy. Well with the ringing in of 2011, came the ringing reality. Back to 40 hours a week. I have had a very hard time with this. I know it's better for us financially and that is very important, but selfishly want my 5 hours of extra time back. You may think 5 hours a week isn't that big a deal...well for this momma it was HUGE. I got to spend time with my little man in the mornings before work. (Now I don't see him at all) I got to pick him up early from preschool (not to mention avoiding all the traffic of the normal 8 to 5ers out there) which gave me one on one time with the cutest kid around before Daddy got home from work. Also, the extra time helped with the flexibility of time off. If i had a Dr. apt, i could easily make it up one day by working an 8 hour day instead of using sick time. I could go on and on.
Back to Reality.
I'm now 40 hours a week. Happy to have a job. Happy to have a job with a great boss. Happy to have had the 2 years of a more relaxed work schedule. Happy to have a husband who has been very understanding. Change is hard, but we...I will all adjust.
With the new year also comes sometimes a "Fear of the Unknown". I struggle (always have) with worry. I worry about stupid things. I worry about the future. I worry about germs. I worry about money. These are all things I can't control. I have to say I'm excited for a new year, a new start and a fresh calendar with what I'm sure will hold exciting events and scary mountains to climb. It's the mountains I'm fearful of. Thank GOD, what lies ahead for 2011 is not a surprise or a shock to HIM. He knows what our future holds, what mountains are there, and is there with me to climb the hardest mountains. His truth will remain in spite of my worry. His love will remain in spite of my doubt. Thank God for His provision. I am praying that I will have "Faith for the Unknown" in 2011.
2 Timothy 1:7 (NCV) "God did not give us a spirit that makes us afraid but a spirit of power and love and self-control."
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