Winter Furnace-land

I wasn't quite sure what to blog about today, so I opted to vent about how much it does NOT feel like Christmas here in furnace-land.

I sit here with a sleeveless shirt, skirt with no tights and am burning up. It's going to be a high of 86 degrees. Tomorrow will be December 1st and I swear you would think it's going to be September 1st.

*Sigh*

I have never been in a REAL winter wonderland for the holidays, but at least in Tennessee and Georgia it was "sweater weather" or "light coat" weather. This hotness really makes things like decorating for Christmas feel very strange and early...maybe that's why our lights are not on our house yet...hmmm.

Well, I'm sure that the onset of Holiday parties will begin to put me in the mood since i practically missed Thanksgiving due to being sick. I mean really, who gets a stomach bug on Thanksgiving. MISERABLE. Anywho...Parties...I am looking forward to seeing more lights and trees and hearing more Christmas music and dressing up for some parties. I enjoy an excuse to get my "holiday cute" on and to sit around with people I enjoy being around and eating...eating lots.

We did decorate our Christmas tree on Sunday night, which our friends have affectionately named, "anorexic" because it's so chic and skinny. (What can i say, we have a small house, besides, i like our anorexic tree!) This time, we got Judah to help us. He loved it! Mommy unwrapped the ornaments and gave them to Judah and Judah gave to Daddy to hang on the tree. We let him hang a few too. It was GREAT fun! This Christmas is going to be so much fun. I am really looking forward to him discovering all the wonder that Christmas holds.

Everyone keeps asking us what we are going to do with Christmas and Judah. It seems that there are so many alternatives depending on what you want to reveal to your kids. Most importantly we are going to share the real meaning of Christmas with Christ at the center of all that we do. Yes, we are doing SANTA, but not going overboard with it. Honestly, he doesn't have a clue who he is. I kept pointing him out when looking at the ornaments and all he said was "Snowman". LOL. Growing up my family didn't celebrate Santa, but Justin's did. WE want Judah to experience it. We have decided that Judah will only get 3 gifts for Christmas from us. We figure that Jesus the new born King got 3 and it was a-plenty! We also think it will help keep things under control as the years go by. I know the grandparents will overwhelm him with gifts, so trust me, he will not be lacking in the gift arena. Not to mention, his birthday is 2 weeks after Christmas. In the future i would like us to implement "The Jesse Tree". We celebrate Advent at our church and this is a way to bring it to our home and make it a visual thing. Our neighbor introduced me to it. (http://www.crivoice.org/jesse.html) I'm not sure what other traditions we will include. I would love to hear what you and your families do. I want it to be a tradition filled time of year for us.

I want to make a difference...

Lately I have had this overwhelming feeling of blah. I'm not sure how else to explain it. I am beginning to wonder..."Am I making a difference?" I read so many blogs by pastor's wives and they are speaking and encouraging other women. I am so uplifted by them, but then I wonder..."What am I doing?". Am I merely existing? If I'm being completely honest, there are times that i feel so much pressure as a "Pastor's wife". It's weird for me to even say that phrase. That phrase holds so much responsibility.
I know there are times that I put the pressure on myself. I constantly feel like I'm being watched, that my every word is being recorded and that how I react can cause a chain reaction. WOW. Just writing all of that makes me nervous. I am NOT perfect, nor do I claim to be. There HAVE been times when I say something I shouldn't and yes, I'm sure my facial responses have been less than "politically correct" in certain situations.
Maybe, just maybe I am making a difference regardless of these things. ??? I am really trying to let my guard down and connect with our teens, other couples and members of my church. I don't think I've ever NOT been myself, but maybe I have just displayed a more "reserved Julie".
Maybe, just maybe, me being open about my feelings on this blog are making a difference. ??? I am pretty transparent on here. I've talked about what others are afraid to talk about. I figure, if I'm going through something, surely there are others out there feeling the same way. It's funny. I find myself able to be more open in written words than spoken. Hmmm....
I want to make a difference. I want God to use me. I want to be a vessel for Him. I pray my flesh won't get in the way and that I will seek Him with wreckless abandonment to fulfill the call HE has placed on my life.

Builder or Destroyer?

Recently I have really been trying to work on my attitude. I have never been one for conflict, but have found myself resenting my duties around the house. Always having to cook, (I very much dislike cooking), do laundry, load and unload the dishwasher. I wouldn't be able to sit down and relax after a long day at work with my husband until all the "necessary" house work was done. At times I would get bitter about it. I would think to myself, "Why do I always have to do the dishes, why am I always the one to cook, why when I wash and fold the clothes can't they be put away, do I have to do everything???" I'm sure I'm not the only one out there that feels this way. (I hope.)

Proverbs 14:1 "The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down."

Wow. I am single-handedly responsible for building up my home or tearing it down. The choice is mine: to be a part of the divine design or the devil's demolition. My son doesn't make me loose my temper, my husband doesn't cause me to feel exasperated. Proverbs is pretty clear. The choice is MINE.

Wow. That's heavy. And to think for years where women have fought for equal rights, we've missed the enormous amount of power that we have held since Eve was created: the power to build a home. You hear of these women who climb the corporate ladder and invest in businesses to make more money, but what about investing in our home? What about investing in life long marriages and raising Godly children. The Bible says that is a wise woman!

In Matthew 12:34 it says that out of the mouth the heart speaks. We use our mouths daily for expression and the source of our mouths and what we say is our heart. We (I) must be careful what I allow to linger there. I must think on the positive. For example what did Judah do new today and about how bright his future is... instead of how much he disobeyed me or threw a tantrum. I must think about my husband and how thankful I am for all of his hard work to provide for our family, how grateful I am for his companionship instead of other negative things that seem to jump in front of the positive. It's time for a heart overhaul in my life. It's time I started to dwell on the good that is under my roof and to build a home instead of tear it down.

My prayer is that I will open my eyes and shut my mouth when my actions are leaning towards destruction. I pray I choose inspiration instead of irritation. I pray I take the opportunity I've been given to be a wise builder wife and mother instead of a foolish destroyer.

"Mommyisms"

Judah's Pediatrician is awesome. He looks like Doogie Houwser (sp?) and has 7 kids. He's a great Christian guy with a dry sense of humor and is really laid back (which is perfect for this uptight mom). He also has a website of advise, tips and guidelines for parents of children under 2. There is one page that I enjoy and here are a few of his funny sayings. You moms will enjoy these!

- Boys will go to the doctor as long as their mother brings them. The next time they will go is when their wife makes them go.
- Your children will always be their sickest when your husband is out of town.
- The best exercise plan is do what your child does. Don't sit in the waiting room, run around the chair.
- The reason 2 year olds are so cute is because nobody would love them if they weren't.
-Everything is cuter when you are well rested.
- The best eyelashes are wasted on boys.
- People who think "boys and girls are just the same" never had a 18 month old boy.
- When choosing a Halloween Costume, boys pick out a weapon and then will take whatever costume goes with the weapon.
- The first night your new baby sleeps through the night, one of your other kids will wake you up.
- With their first child, parents come to the 4 month visit with sage 1 fruits and veggies alphabetized and organized in their cabinets. They are just waiting for the doctor to say "Go". With their second child, parents say, "Already? He's too young".
- Four year old boys are the definition of ADHD.
- Your children will begin to misbehave in public once you have a website that gives discipline advise.

Sandpaper People

Lately, I have been dealing with a particular "sandpaper person" in my life. There is nothing more frustrating than having to deal with someone on a daily basis that rubs you the wrong way. I have really been praying about this person and how to deal with them. This person is supper aggressive, abrasive and just does not mix with my personality. We are like oil and water.

I have come to realize that God has placed this person in my life for a reason. I have yet to figure out what it is.

Lately "sandpaper person" has confronted me on many occasions, made me cry, made me angry (which doesn't happen often) and kept me awake at night. Why to I let this person effect me in this way? I'm letting them WIN!! They are breaking me down, but I know that God is going to build me back up and I will be a stronger person for getting through this.

"We know that these troubles produce patience. And patience produces character, and character produces hope." Romans 5:3-4 I'm praying that this will be my progression: From a difficult relationship to Godly character and then to hope. Hope follows pain because pain forces us to trust God and rely upon HIS power to mend a broken life. It is in that abandonment to God that we find hope.

I'm sure you all have dealt with "sandpaper people". How do you deal with confrontations and situations with them? I pray that God will guide me and you through the difficulties to an appreciation for the "rough" people in our lives and develop Godly character in our lives!

"Fame is vapor, popularity is an accident, riches take wings, those who cheer today may curse tomorrow and only one thing endures - Character." - Harry Truman

Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire

Lately I have come to the realization that I listen to the devil's lies more than I should. I have always been an insecure person. I struggled with an eating disorder as a teen and always compared myself to others. I would think, you're not good enough, you're ugly, you're fat, your too short, you don't sing good enough, you're not smart enough....the list goes on and on.
Lies. All lies.
I have listened to the devil far too much in my life. Granted, I'm not as bad as I used to be as far as insecurities go, but in this phase of my life, Worry seems to be what the devil tortures me with. What if Judah gets sick...what if I'm not a good mom...where's the money going to come from...what if my husband stops loving me...what if, what if, what if....
Lies. All lies.
I have been challenged lately to truly search for God's truth in the thoughts of my mind.
2 Corinthians 10:5 (Message)
"We use our powerful God-tools for smashing warped philosophies, tearing down barriers, erected against the truth of God, fitting every loose thought and emotion and impulse into the structure of life shaped by Christ."
God, let me use your truth to compare the thoughts of my mind to. Help me separate your truth from the enemy's trash.

So long baby, Hello big boy

Lots has happened with Judah, so I thought I'd catch you up!

The first biggest news to share is that we are pacifier free in our house!!! Whooo hooo! I am still in a bit of shock. I decided to just put him down one night without it and see what he would do. I thought for sure he would start crying and not be able to sleep without it and I would dutifully go in and soothe him with his coveted "Uh-oh" (as he affectionately refers to his pacifier). Well, much to my dismay, he went right down and slept the whole night through. SHOCKED!! So, the next day I sent him to school with an an Uh-oh in a baggie and told it was only to be used in an EMERGENCY. Well, there was no need they said and he did great. That night i put him down and began to think okay, I guess I have to stick with this. I started to feel sick to my stomach. You see the beloved Uh-oh was a comfort to Judah but was also a comfort to Momma too.

If Judah was inconsolable, Uh-oh to the rescue.

If Judah was too noisy in church, Uh-oh to the rescue.

If Judah didn't want to go on a road trip strapped in his (probably) uncomfortable car seat, Uh-oh to the rescue.

Daddy has a migraine, Uh-oh to the rescue.

You get the picture.

So, to ensure that I would not cave after a night of screaming or a car ride of crying and pulling my hair out, I decided to throw the pacifiers away. GONE. Out of my house. Now there was no going back. Scary thought. I have to say Judah has done pretty well. We have been pacifier free for going on 3 weeks. After the first week I started to get nervous as he wasn't sleeping well at night and thought we might have been regressing a little, but I think he's getting his 2 year molars. Poor baby. Hoping that pain ends soon.

Judah is now 19 1/2 months and is growing like a weed and learning faster than i ever imagined. He's saying sentences now and is trying awfully hard to communicate but most of the time it comes out as gibberish. He knows (almost) all of his body parts, colors, counting, animals and their corresponding noises. He loves "Melmo" and "Mouse" (aka Mickey Mouse).

Funny story:

So Judah loves Mickey Mouse. He even has Mickey on the front of his diapers and he is well aware of it. So he goes around pointing to his...well, you know, and says "Mouse!" and looks up for acceptance that he is correct. Well there is a mouse on his diapers so technically he is. I guess it's better than calling "it" a tail as one of his 2 year old buddies refers to "it". Too funny.

Judah also started his first day of the Fall 2010-2011 school year. He will be attending the same school, Trinity Christian Academy and will be in the 1 year old room until his birthday in January when he will move to the 2 year old room. I can't believe how big he's getting. The pictures posted are of him on his first day of school.