Brag time...

I have been thinking about writing this blog for a while and decided that now was the time. So, if you don't want to hear me go on an on about my wonderful husband then click on, but just fyi...it's gonna be good!

Justin Michael Johnson and I have been married now for 4 years and 4 months. We met at Lee University where we were just friends for about 2 years...until things changed of course. We got married, moved to Florida and started as youth Pastors all within about 3 months. So, needless to say, I was overwhelmed with the amount of life changes I had to go through. I admit I got depressed when we first moved here..you know...no friends, no family, nothing familiar. Justin and I just had each other. We did EVERYTHING together. We were never apart and looking back, I think it was the best thing for our marriage. We had to depend and rely on each other because that's all we had.

We moved to Orlando not knowing really what we were doing. Justin took a Youth Pastor position at the church we are still at, Christ Church of Orlando. He took this position after several grueling interviews. He didn't graduate from Lee with a "Ministry Major" or a theology degree. We were truly just following the call on our hearts to work with teens. I have to admit, shamefully, that I didn't know if we could do it. I doubted Justin and his ability to "be a Pastor". I even think I challenged him a bit, because I have a bit of a control problem, and finally realized that he IS AWESOME at what he does, how he connects with the teens, and I'm sure it's no thanks to me and my nagging. He is a dynamic, charismatic, entertaining, humorous speaker and sometimes I don't know where he pulls stuff from. I will admit I still get nervous every time he speaks. I never know what he will say, and he has embarrassed me and probably himself several times....It's scary when the microphone is in your hands! Regardless, he's done such a great job and I look forward to all that he'll do in the future as he continues to marinate in his calling. Yes, he works alot, but we knew what we signed up for.

I love to watch Justin with Judah. They always have so much fun together. They are constantly laughing and having a good time. I'm certain they'll be buddies. But, I will say that Justin is the disciplinarian of the family. (thank God!) He's firm with Judah and I think Judah respects him for that. When Justin watches Judah every Friday, they are always taking fun daddy/son field trips to places like Lowe's and Ikea. What a great daddy!

Justin constantly is encouraging me to be bold and step out of my box. He is the perfect balance for me. I can be a bit uptight and he knows how to calm me down. He encourages me when I'm having self image issues. I know I'm beautiful to him, because he tells me so. I know he's happy, because he tells me so. Thank God I married someone that complements my love languages! All in all, I married my best friend. I actually enjoy being around my husband (imagine that...lol).

Now, he's not perfect, as none of us are, but he's perfect for me! This is a bragging blog for goodness sakes. I'm proud of my hubby, my friend, my baby-daddy!

Chill out already!

So, I have a lot going on right now and have found myself waking up every hour at night. Why is it that we as women can't turn our brain off? I am in charge of the Thanksgiving basket drive, organization, and delivery for our church this weekend. I love doing this every year, just get so stressed about the details and will I have enough help and so on. Everything seems to work out just fine, but man, I wish I could just chill out!

I am also throwing a baby shower for a friend at church this weekend and feel the need to have a perfect girly party looming over my head. I don't know why I do this to myself or why everything seems to be planed for the same time or day!?

I think the fact that I'm also already planning Judah's first birthday party is stressing me out. When did my baby grow up so fast? One year already? Where has the time gone? I thought time went fast before I had a kid, now it's like twice as fast...crazy! I have ordered the invitations and we...I have decided to do a jungle theme. I'm excited about it and am constantly trying to come up with creative ideas that go with the theme. So, far I've got quite a few...I'll definitely share pictures afterwards...don't hold your breath though, it's not until January. (Obsessed much?)

I really don't' know why I do this to myself. I think it's because I LOVE to plan and do parties and think that everyone that knows that I love this expects something grand from me. I hope not to let them/you down, but first I just need to chill out already!!

Motherhood in the Raw, Part 4

1. Not a light Sleeper? You will be! Becoming a mother I guess requires that you become a light sleeper. I could have slept through a tornado before I had Judah, now I promise I could here him cough through 3 closed doors. Judah has just been diagnosed with Bronchiolitis and so he's been coughing throughout the night. Every time he would cough or whimper, I would jump up. (Justin on the other hand, doesn't budge...interesting!) Maybe it's something in a mom's subconscious that kicks in when little ones are sick. Who knows?

2. The taste of Freedom. Judah is now crawling almost faster than I can walk. I fear that he will be walking sooner than I'd like. I used to could put him in his pack-n-play and he would be continent. Now, he's tasted "freedom" and won't stand to be put in a toy or apparatus that allows ME to get things done around the house.

3. Habits. Rocking to sleep, holding the bottle, watching TV. I do all of these. The whole rocking thing is something I love to do because it's "OUR" time together. Well, the downside is that he won't go to sleep (easily) without being rocked. Yes, I still hold Judah's bottle for him. I have tried the sippy cups, but he doesn't know how to tilt them up. We're working on this. I didn't want Judah to watch TV until he was 2, but this is a bit impossible. We let him watch Praise Baby and he really loves it. (He smiles when he hears it come on. lol) I guess you could call these all habits. Are they bad ones? I guess time will tell.

4. Testing Me. Lately, Judah has been pushing the limits. It's crazy how early they learn to test you as a parent. Will you give into that fit of rage because you took something away? Will you punish him for doing something you already said "No" to? Well, Justin calls me a softy, but I think I'm getting better at this. I can tell that he will be the disciplinarian in our family, but I'm working on my sternness.

5. 9 months on 9 months off. So the whole saying "It takes you 9 months to put on your baby weight and it will take you 9 months to get it off."? Well, for me this is true. I think I'm finally back down to my pre-baby weight/size. I'm able to wear my pre-Judah jeans and am so thrilled. One night I decided to try them on and came out doing the happy dance! (It's the little things, I guess.) So, don't be discouraged if the weight doesn't fall off, but also, your body WILL be completely different.

6. Time is limited. In January, I will go back to work full time. For those of you who don't know, I have had the pleasure this past year to take off Wednesdays every week to spend with my baby. Due to finances being so tight, I have to go back to 40 hrs. per week starting Jan. 1. I am so sad, but am so grateful for the time I've been able to spend with my baby. If you are able to reduce your hours, do it! It's been a tight squeeze financially this past year, but in my eyes, SO worth it.

Warm Fuzzies

I drafted the following post about a week ago and never posted, but thought I'd go ahead even though it's 95 degrees here now...

So cooler weather has finally reached this oven of a state! I cannot tell you how happy it has made me feel. I have been in such a great mood since the chill met the Florida state line. What is it about Fall that sends my endorphins throught he roof? Is it the crispness of the air or the fact that I can walk outside without sweating my makeup off due to humidity? Is it the thought of wearing sweaters or the thought that I won't have to see peope in shorts in mid-December? Whatever the reason, cooler weather makes me OH-SO-Happy!!!

In light of the Fall weather and We took Judah to his first Pumpkin Patch on Saturday and it was a lot of fun. All he wanted to do was stick the stems in his mouth-yuck! He had fun cralwing around, patting all the pumkins and eating hay. It was a fun day!

So break out the sweaters, turn on the heat, make the hot chocolate, and get outside it's Fall in Florida--let's hope it stays that way!

Things I miss...

1-I miss my friends and Family. Not that I don't have friends here in Orlando, or a church "family", but I miss my old friends and my family being close. I feel like we are in no-man's-land down here in FL. We are like, at least, a 5-6 hour drive from everyone (except Justin's family who is thankfully about 1 1/2 hours away).
2-I miss being spontaneous. Yeah, this pretty much goes out the window when you have kids. It's not a bad thing, you just have to plan, plan, plan!
3- I miss going shopping. It seems before we owned a house (and had a healthy mortgage), we would go shopping every to every other weekend. Not big ticket items, but none-the-less, we would drop money for clothes, decor, whatever! We never went outside our budget, but we did in fact have a budget for luxuries. So I guess I would also tie into this one that I miss date nights with my husband, since that is also a luxury. We used to go out every Friday night and spend time together at a restaurant or the movies. Now, it's limited to when we have a gift card or free babysitting. (both of which I am SO grateful for!)
4- I miss college days. In college it seemed then that I had SO much responsibility with taking care of the house my parents bought for Joyce and I, paying bills, cramming for finals, traveling all over with Campus Choir, having a part-time job, staying really involved with my Greek Club (shout out to my DZT sisters), and maintaining relationships. My, how the word RESPONSIBILITY has changed!!

I didn't decide to write this post in a woe-is-me way, or for sympathy from my few readers, I was simply reflecting about how my life has changed in the past 4-5 years. I realize life is full of changes and I wouldn't be moving forward unless things changed, but just wanted to reflect. I DO love my life, where it has taken me. I adore my hot husband and my precious baby Judah. I DO feel we are in God's will here in Orlando. But, I DO miss all of those things. What to you miss?

Gag me

Okay, so Judah is going on 9 months old and now has 6 teeth! I can't believe it. This child seems to be growing much faster than my pregnancy went by! I can't believe we are headed towards 1 year, it kinda makes me sad. But no worries, we are not planning for another one for quite some time so I'm obviously not TOO upset about it!

I got inspired for this topic based on my fellow blogger, Lindsay Mills, who wrote about her 8 month old who has NO teeth and she's giving him table/real -people food. Now, I admit I have been very cautious about giving Judah different foods. We have just now gone to chicken and turkey baby food. He is definitely a "texture" baby which I am afraid he gets from me. As soon as I gave him ground meat that I made for the first time, he gagged to kingdom come! I went out the next day and purchased canned meats, which the thought of canned meats disgusts me to the core! Well, it went over much better. He ate it but not without a questionable face. I am gradually giving him more and more. Hopefully we can move to beef soon...eww canned beef does it get any worse than that?

So, for the past couple of weeks I have started to feel like I have babied Judah too much in this area. I took my time introducing different stages of foods to him as I thought I was supposed to...now I'm questioning my method. It seems that other children his age are eating table food and loving it. So should I push him to eat things that make him gag and hope he gets used to the texture? I also give him oatmeal with every meal still, is this wrong? I thought it would act as a filler since he pretty much eats primarily fruits and veggies. Also, I wonder when kids start eliminating their afternoon bottle (3:30)? It seems Judah is doing that (or teething), so maybe I should just put together a healthy snack for that time of day. I will say he's getting quite good at picking up foods/snacks such as Cheerios and those melty snacks, but will NOT hold his own bottle or attempt a sippy cup. Moms out there any advise?

Attitude Check

Several weeks ago I have felt a little askew. I would just come home and dread having to do all that needed to be done ie: laundry, cleaning, dinner, dishes, feed Judah, bathe Judah...the list goes on and on!!! It was almost like I was bitter about it all. Like hello Lord, I need some help here; I can't balance it all! It's not even like Justin wasn't helping because he was, all I could focus on were the things that I needed to complete and how I felt like I couldn't rest and even when I wanted to rest. I wanted a tidy home and couldn't relax until it was that way. If I asked Justin to do something and it didn't get done by the time I came home, the first words out of my mouth would be "why didn't you do this?", not "Hey babe, how was your day?".

I know part of it was I wasn't spending time in the Word and with the Lord like I should have been. To me, that was just one more chore to add to my list and if the other things didn't get finished neither would it. (sad, but true) I finally decided to pick up a book that was given to me SEVERAL months ago. It's a small devotion book for mothers. Has it ever hit home! I have come to a new realization that I need to do things as if they were for the Lord. (1 Cor. 10:31) Including changing dirty diapers!!
Before it was like I was doing all the chores around the house while murmuring and hating every minute of it and not feeling appreciated at all. Now, had I asked Justin for help, he would have gladly done it, but no, I had to do it ALL myself and I did it and with a hard heart. I mean really, who wants to be around that?! Can we say control freak? I think part of this stems from being a partial perfectionist and a bit of post-pardon hormones. I have also come to the realization that the house doesn't have to be perfect and to just relax and spend time with my family because that is what matters most. If I stay so busy, **Cough**Martha, then I will miss out on golden moments in my life.

So attitude check yourself. Is everything that comes out of your mouth negative? Do you really want to be THAT draining person who can't find anything good to say? I don't. While I may not have time for an hour-long devotion, I have decided to find God in all the small things that I do daily. While cleaning the dishes I thank God for wiping clean all the sin from my life, while feeling Judah I thank God that He supplies our every need, while making the bed I thank God that HE is my resting place, while cleaning the house, I thank God that He knows everything about me...all my nooks and crannies. While it sounds a bit cheesy, it's so easy to find God in all that you do. Try it, you might like it!