Daycare...the Mommy replacer

So yesterday I had a horrible experience when picking up Judah from his preschool. I went into his room to pick him up and he wasn't there. Come to find out he was hanging with the "big kids" in the 2 year old room. (He's kind of a favorite there and the teachers will take him to hang out in their rooms for the aftercare program.) The teacher walked in carrying Judah and as soon as he saw me he clung on to the teacher for dear life. (I'm talking death-grip) I reached out for him and he started SCREAMING. I tried to reassure him and he wouldn't have it. The teacher put him down, and well...FULL ON TANTRUM. I tried to pick him up and he ran from me. SO SAD. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, I was able to pick him up and then carry him to the car. I made it to the car and, cue - Waterworks. It hurt my feelings so bad, especially when I think about how he used to run up and hug me every afternoon when I would pick him up.

I mean, have I been replaced? It would seem so. I guess it makes sense, he spends more time there than with me. This makes me more than SAD. I only wish we could afford for me to stay home with him. What a far-fetched dream. There is no way this will ever happen. Breaks my poor little, broken heart. I have tried to reason with myself on this matter and have included my list of pro's and con's. Tell me your opinion on the matter.

Pro: Judah enjoys his time at school
Con: Mommy misses Judah all day

Pro: Judah is loved at School
Con: Judah would receive more love while at home with Mommy

Pro: Judah is learning so fast, due to being at Preschool
Con: Mommy and daddy are going broke paying for Preschool

Pro: Judah has lots of friends
Con: Judah would rather stay with his friends than go home

Pro: Judah spends 8 hours at school.
Con: Judah spends 8 hours at school. (And a mere 2 hrs. with Mommy)

Stinky

So, I think the time of potty training is upon us. Oh, Lord, Help!!! I am so scared of this phase for some reason. I think maybe it has a lot to do with "boy parts" and aiming. Judah is showing what I consider signs of potty training. He says "Stinky" when he goes poopy and runs to his room to be changed or he will grab the front of his diaper and run to his room. I even heard him say "potty" one day. I have no idea where he picked this word up. I have not been using it, so I have to assume he heard it at school.

The child is only 16 months old, isn't that a little soon? I mean, it's not like I don't welcome the day that I don't have to buy those expensive diapers, but just feel unprepared now. I haven't read any books on potty training or anything. I know one thing I'm going to try is to get the potty seats that clip onto the existing throne. I want to do this for 2 reasons. 1: Our main bathroom is too small to have an extra toddler potty seat in it. 2: I think it will be good to associate the "big" potty as the one he will use, cause Lord knows I can't carry around that mini potty that sings when you flush it everywhere we go! We'll see. I may get desperate.

On another note, this age is loads of fun!! Judah is saying more words that I can believe. He tries to repeat everything we say and is successful more times than not. He's great at saying "tank yooou" and "pease"! (Praise God for manners!) He's very playful and is learning so quickly. He's generally in a great mood and the tantrums have slowed down since he knows there are repercussions to those fits!

I was talking to someone about Judah and how he's being so strong willed already and he put an interesting spin on my perception. He said don't you want a stong willed child? I said well, I guess a kid with a little gusto is good. He said, of course and not to mention he will probably be a leader. The "No's" he's saying now will be the "no's" he tells his friends when they try to get him to do something illegal or morally wrong. Interesting I thought. I never would have thought of it that way, but he's probably right. Funny how your viewpoint can change your perspective.

Motherhood in the Raw

Motherhood in the Raw meant for all those "I wish someone would have told me's". A few more raw items for you to chew on...

1) Temper, Temper. Judah is now 15 months and the tantrums have begun. That's right folks. Evidently those tantrums don't start at the "terrible two's". Judah has thrown himself on the floor in a fit of rage multiple times. WOW, so not ready for this yet.

2) Time out and Spankings. As a follow-up to #1, these are in full swing. We are experimenting with Judah on what discipline works best for him. I was always spanked as a child, but have a hard time doing this to my own son unless it's absolutely called for...now Justin on the other hand...
Time out seems to work fine for me. I can't believe he just sits still until I tell him he can move; amazing how much he comprehends at this age. I read somewhere to do time out for as long as they are old, but I just do it until he calms down which probably is about the same. I've also heard to just ignore the tantrums. That if he knows he's getting a rise out of you, the tantrums will continue. I guess it's all trial and error. I'm assuming we'll have it all figured out by the time we have another one...or not.

3) Look who's talking now. Judah is talking up a storm. He is trying to repeat everything we say even if it sounds like gibberish. It's really very cute. He will just gab when he's in the car. But if he wants something he's very good at letting us know. Just a few of is words are: "EEEEE" for eat,"MO" for more, "Pees" for please, "Dank you" for thank you, "mmmm" for I love you. We have used a few words with sign language which was great before he could talk, but now it seems pointless since he'll just tell us what he wants.

4) Lovey dovey. Despite #'s 1 and 2, Judah is also so affectionate and gives out kisses like candy, even to the ladies at church. haha. He loves to be held and I don't mind doing it, although he is getting quite heavy! He comes running when we pick him up from daycare or the church nursery and promptly places a wet kiss on our mouth. That is seriously my favorite part of my day!




More to come...Mothering is such a learning process. I learn more and more everyday!

Vent Session

Okay, so I feel the need to vent. Fair warning: You do not have to read this post. It's simply for my own good.

Why is it that people feel the need to project their feelings about a subject on you? I mean really...why judge me about a certain topic and to make it public on, say...FACEBOOK? All you are really doing is stirring up dissension and unnecessary drama. I chose to simply delete the comment rather than give a rebuttal. Did I mention I HATE drama? I have no desire to be a part of drama and as Justin would say "Save the Drama for your Mama!".

Matthew 7:1-5
"1 Stop judging others, and you will not be judged. 2 For others will treat you as you treat them. Whatever measure you use in judging others, it will be used to measure how you are judged. 3 And why worry about a speck in your friend's eye when you have a log in your own? 4 How can you think of saying, 'Let me help you get rid of that speck in your eye,' when you can't see past the log in your own eye? 5 Hypocrite! First get rid of the log from your own eye; then perhaps you will see well enough to deal with the speck in your friend's eye."

Wow, I don't think it could be said more clearly. Now, don't get me wrong. I'm not perfect and don't claim to be, but I certainly try to be cautious about what I say, and think about what I say before I say it or put it in black and white for all the world to see.

Psalm 139:23
"Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my thoughts."

Okay, so I'm feeling better and am trying not to let the "little things in life" get to me.

My Cup Runneth Over

Lately I have been feeling so blessed with the life God has given me. I think I take for granted TOO much all the many blessings God has bestowed to me. I serve a God that loves me, I have a loving family that cares for me, a husband that truly loves me, a sweet, loving, healthy son that God has given me, friends that are there for me, a roof over my head, a great church family....the list goes on and on. I love my life and I feel like my cup is just running over with all these blessings. I heard this poem read by one of Justin's relatives at a Christmas gathering about 3 or 4 years ago and haven't been able to get it out of my mind. This poem truly explains how I feel.

I’m Drinking From My Saucer

I’ve never made a fortune,and it’s probably too late now.

But I don’t worry about that much,I’m happy anyhow.
And as I go along life’s way,I’m reaping better than I sowed.

I’m drinking from my saucer,‘Cause my cup has overflowed.

Haven’t got a lot of riches,and sometimes the going’s tough.

But I’ve got loving ones all around me,and that makes me rich enough.

I thank God for his blessings,and the mercies He’s bestowed.

I’m drinking from my saucer,‘Cause my cup has overflowed.

I remember times when things went wrong,My faith wore somewhat thin.

But all at once the dark clouds broke,and the sun peeped through again.
So Lord, help me not to gripe, about the tough rows I have hoed.

I’m drinking from my saucer,‘Cause my cup has overflowed.

If God gives me strength and courage,When the way grows steep and rough.

I’ll not ask for other blessings,I’m already blessed enough.
And may I never be too busy,to help others bear their loads.

Then I’ll keep drinking from my saucer,‘Cause my cup has overflowed.

-Author Unknown

Psalms 23:5

"You prepare a feast for me in the presence of my enemies. You welcome me as a guest, anointing my head with oil. My cup overflows with blessings."

He's still workin' on me!

Do you remember that childhood song?
"He's still workin' on me
To make me what I ought to be
It took Him just a week to make the moon and the stars
The sun and the Earth and Jupiter and Mars
How loving and patient He must be
He's still workin' on me!"

This song has been the anthem of my heart lately. Some recent things that have happened in my life have made me realize that I am STILL a huge work in progress. I have many things that I need to work on to become a better wife, mother, friend, daughter and sister. Makes me realize that even when I think I've got it all put together, God shows me areas in my life that have neglected to give to HIM. I have struggled so long with personal insecurities and now it's spilling over into other areas of my life. I must find my confidence in God and God ALONE. Wow, thank God He is so patient and that He never gives up on us!!
He's still workin' on me!!

Motherhood in the Raw part ??

There are a few new things to share about Judah and mothering a 1 year old...here goes...

1) I have a one year old. Okay, this is just weird to me. I can't even believe it's been over a year since we had a new addition. Seems like time has passed so quickly but also seems like Judah has always been a part of our family! So, new moms or future moms, what they say is true...time flies by, enjoy every minute. I look back now and realize I didn't savor his "tininess" as much as i should have! (I also need to post pics of his jungle themed party...it was so cute if I do say so myself)

2) Bye Bye Binky. We are now trying to get rid of the binky, pacy, whatever affectionate name you choose to call that rubber thing that goes in there mouth and keeps them quiet when you want them to. This has been a hard one, probably mostly for me. The pacifier has been a bit of a mute button for Judah, in other words, if he was crying or upset, the paci would automatically soothe him, or if he was babbling in church, the binky would keep him quiet a little longer than my shhh's would. We have gotten down to where he only uses it for sleeping or when he's very tired. I admit I cave probably more than I should. According to the Dr, the goal is to be rid of the binky by 18 months...we're on our way!

3) Growth charts. Why is it, we as mothers constantly measure our pride on our children's growth chart? At Judah's 12 month appointment he was 25% for height and weight. However he must have lots of brains cause his head was a whopping 90%! So my child will probably unfortunately be shorter than average, sorry Judah, you can blame me. I was actually surprised to see that he was underweight. This kid eats a ton!! Seriously more than me sometimes! He is VERY active so I guess he runs it off.
It seems that other mothers tend to ask what his or her percentages were at the last visit to see where their child is in comparison to yours. I'm guilty as well. I guess Judah will just be below average in height and weight, but look out world, cause that big head of his will be chop full of knowledge and crush your overweight kid! (lol)

4) Bye Bye $25 formula! Our doctor told us we could take Judah off of Formula at 11 months (which is a little early, but much welcomed!). You couldn't have told me better news. We were paying $25 every 4 days for a tub of formula. The next time I went to the grocery store and didn't have to purchase that expensive stuff, I seriously did a little hallelujah dance down the isle! Praise God, we now only spend $4 about every 4 days for Judah's Organic Whole milk!

5) Table for 4. I honestly wouldn't mind having another child if only we could afford it. Childcare is so expensive we can't afford to have two in full time care at the same time among the other expenses having a child incurs. It looks like we will have to wait another 3 years or so. I have really just enjoyed Judah lately. He's so lovey and sweet. Don't get me wrong he will throw a tantrum or two (yes already) and stress me out from time to time, but he is such a blessing.